Letter to my DCE

Dear Sir,

I know you’ve seen me around but we haven’t really interacted as to even saying hello civilly to each other. We walk by each other as if we both recognize that saying hello could result in some unpleasant body language.

I was glad you were appointed to the post after a long protracted selection of who was the best man for the job I hear but well what can I say about it. Think I was surprised when you didn’t have any opposition to your appointment? Oh Blimey! Who are you kidding. In these here parts in the savanna when you get appointed people start calculating what your appointment means in terms of what they’re going to get from you in that seat and won’t care a hoot whether you succeed at your job or not.

Dear Sir, the funny thing is that you know this to be so true yet when those same people don’t understand that your job is one of sacrifice you almost shed tears to complain and heartily apologize to them.

I’ve always wondered what you were apologizing for.

For not being able to give them the money that they want (money earmarked for development projects) or for your seeming incompetence (due to government constraints and red tape)

Sir I know how frustrating and lonely it must be for you in that seat. Everybody thinks it’s good to be in that seat but nobody, not even one person, understands the heat that emanates from the seat even without your nauseous farts. 

Often times I understand you might to do some things some way, the way you think is best to do but with your position being by political appointment there is the need to follow party unwritten regulations and you have to be astute enough to know what is right and what is wrong in the political spectrum of events as they occur or soon enough you’d be out of a job.

Nobody should envy you that but the perks are myriad. I don’t think you really want me to list some of the perks in this letter because you’re in it and you know them.

Sir please our roads have become very deplorable and taken too long to be tarred.  The road to your office itself is so dusty that I jokingly told my female friends on social media not to dye their hair brown but just take a drive down our stretch of main road to achieve that brown tint of hair. No need going to the salon to spend their money on fixing their hair as most of the women who work in our assembly offices have come to find out.

Since you drive in an air-conditioned four wheel car with your windows constantly rolled up you seem not to see the urgency in fixing the untarred dusty road which plagues us who ride in the defunct taxis to work. No well conditioned taxi wants to come to the offices because of the roads so we only get the rickety ones and the drivers are always so bad tempered and mannered.

Imagine once I sat in a car which reminded me of Hitler’s gulags during the second world war because the car exhaust fumes were coming back into the car, mixed with the dust from the road through the underside and to make it worse we couldn’t roll down the back windows. Only way to get air in the backseat of that particular car was to open the door and when I did the driver was more interested in a cyclist banging into his door than the health implications of me being in the backseat of that car.

For a district that we want to generate money you don’t seem to have a clue as to what to do and you leave me thinking you think you owe too many people to go rattling them a bit for some extra cash for the collective development of the district.

You’re the boss. Make wild.

Dear Sir, I must commend you on your leadership skills albeit there’s always more to learn and to do. Sometimes it’s not about what you want but also your inter-personal relationships and charisma. But I’m sure you’d get there. At least you haven’t done any short fuse stunts like screaming “tweaa” at news reporters haven’t cut down any trees in any of our reserves to build a district assembly. So thus far you’re cleared.

Dear Sir, I really wish you the best in your tenure of office and we all pray those dreams and projects you say you have for the district get to materialize.

You said we should feel free to tell you any issues that we have and this is my way of telling you what’s on my mind.

Thank you very much for taking time off your busy schedule to read this whole thing.

A Concerned Ghanaian
Sagnarigu District
Tamale.

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