Archive for June, 2015

Homophobia

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on June 30, 2015 by kola

“The next time you attempt to do that again, I’m gonna whip out your dick and slam it into a car door and if you know me well enough I don’t make idle threats …”
With these words I put him in a taxi and sent him home.

You’re wondering what this is about. That’s me coming face to face with a homosexual guy who claims he was in love with me and wanted to sleep with me at all costs.

By the time I finish this particular article most people who know me will look at me differently and I’m sure I might lose a few religious friends but then so be it if this is how I feel and you’re not open minded enough to tag along. This is not about being religious but more about being social.

I have had several encounters with homosexuals ever since I was in high school. A friend of mine found a way of getting extra cash for school by posting fantasy stories in European gay magazines and when we got responses we wrote stories that could fetch us money from our benefactors abroad. In a week we could make not less than €50 and sometimes it went as high as €300 depending on the mark.

Yeah right! This was in the late 90s and as students that was a lot of money.

Seeing those gay magazines and the pictures opened my eyes to a whole new world and initially it was disgusting but curiousity made me find out what will make one man go in for another man.

Interestingly, being curious I now became a target for a relationship with several offers of wealth and grandiose. Somebody even promised me a house and a car, another a vacation holiday anywhere in the world of my choice and boy there were offers. I now understood how pretty gals must feel inundated with all these promises just to get a piece of you.

It didn’t occur to me though that personally I hated it so much until I was invited to a house warming party in a plush suburb in Accra. Unknown to me it was a gay party. The host’s boyfriend /sugardaddy from the Netherlands had bought him the house and he had just come in from abroad to celebrate with his boo who also invited his friends over to meet him. With over 200 guests there were only 4 women and an hour or so into the party two of them felt as lost as I was at the party so we sort of gravitated to each other. 

We decided it was a party and we were already there so we should have fun anyways.

It was when I was dancing with one of these gals that I felt somebody grind against me from behind and the person was very soft so I conveniently assumed it was the other gal sitting with us.  I was in heaven being sandwiched between two pretty women at a gay party. What a blessing.

My relaxing apparently emboldened the person behind me who started fondling me and it was when I felt the hairy arms and the hardened dick on my butt that I realized it was a man and truth be told I instantly had murderous intentions. I just held on to the tip of the erect penis in his pants and just wanted to strangle the worm.  His cry of pain and the lady I was dancing with saved the day and I left the party immediately after.

By now you would think I have a problem with homosexuals. No I don’t. I honestly think some are the most intelligent people I have met and it’s a pity that they have to live a double life and be afraid of coming out of the closet because of how people will react to them. I believe that it is a personal choice and that they are human beings first and should be treated as such.

But it is only when you try to rope me in on your choices that I have a problem with. Yeah I’ve heard it being said that I have a double standard with that but I think it’s clear cut for me.  It has nothing to do with my Christian faith and it’s just to do with my social nature.

Friend of mine said that as for me I’ll love everybody. And Yes it is True.

Imagine bearing the same name with a listed homosexual who is a world traveler and people just Google the name and my number comes up. Yes I take his calls and I redirect his hookups to his current number cos he keeps changing numbers and that’s how come I know a lot about homosexual activities round the world.

Well, now that single sex marriage has been legalized in the USA I can assume it will be easier for them to live their lives in the open and not in the shadows. As for here in Africa, we’d always frown on the practice but we can’t stop it. Driving it underground will even make it more popular and widespread.

I’ve always been an advocate of being who you are and being comfortable but if you have to hide to be you is it worth it?

As for me, it’s a choice they make and they have to live with it but please I’ve also made my choices, don’t drag me into yours.

Based on my experience let’s just be friends and I won’t be forced to tell you I’ll put your dick in a vise or send you to Bangkok, with a mallet.

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Delusional

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on June 30, 2015 by kola

So I had a dream and I woke up all wet with a migraine to boot too.

During the last world cup the Brazilian national team someway somehow could not find a defender so I was asked to step in as a central defender. Wearing that Brazilian jersey for real was like a dream come true and I chose to acquit myself pretty well playing in the final.

I don’t know who Brazil played against in the final but Yes! We won.

It was after the win that I felt kinda left out and disoriented in the celebrations. Whilst everybody was jumping about on the field, my co players were kissing their wives and hugging their families, later in the dressing room popping champagne and getting coach all wet in victory, I just felt a sense of loneliness like I didn’t belong.

Was I this depressed? Where was my sense of sportsmanship. Hey wake up! I’d just won the world cup.  At alas my melancholy was deep.
It was at the press conference and photoshoot as I stood back and watched the players sign autographs that a little boy approaches me and asked for my autograph and told me I’d played very well and sorry I’d hurt my knee in that tackle. I signed it wondering how could he be the only person who knew.

Then came the time for the honor roll and I don’t know why but it looked like some vetting process. You have to  take you jersey to a table, spread it out and the elders of the team clap for you, next table your name is ticked off and at the final table you collect your bonus.

It is when I lay my jersey on the table that I realize the name on the back is not mine but reads DIDO. I try to explain to the woman at the desk that I had been brought in at the last minute to play central defense but nobody seems to remember me.  My name is Kola. 

The lady is adamant to acknowledge me and says there is nothing she can do. I plead with her to ask the coach who at that moment walks in to talk to an elder seated right behind the lady but coach completely ignores us in this public spectacle. Even though I keep pleading I realize it’s futile, the young woman has a smirk on her face, and I get up and walk away.

How can I play a whole world cup final and only one little boy recognized my efforts towards winning the world cup for Brazil.

I hear shouts in the distance and that is when I wake up bathed in sweat to realize it’s time for the muezzin to call the fasting faithful to prayer and they are all at it.

And Yes! I’m wet alright but it’s not the champagne from the victory party but my own sweat from the dumsor heat.

Please sorry if I led you on, how many of us have not suffered delusions from the malaria drugs we’ve taken.

Maybe someday on another bout of malaria I’m gonna have a testimonial match for myself. If they don’t believe I won the world cup I believe in myself and so should you. 

Like I always say it begins with YOU! 

Ghana Tourism is a Joke

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on June 18, 2015 by kola

There is a growing phenomenon in our country that is becoming a canker and needs to be curbed and this is the pervading sense of reaping where we did not sow. The very roots of corruption stem out of this canker and it’s ruining our society.

It has become part of our moral fabric that when workers go to work they loot as much as they can from the employer because they have no idea when they are going to be laid off or in this current situation when the company is going to go bust.

However we forget that it is our efforts in making the company work and this commitment that will ensure that our daily routine doesn’t become bland and monotonous since we’d be finding new ways of keeping the company going and at the same time helping ourselves develop not only physically but mentally.

You’re wondering what’s on my mind and where I’m going with this. I’ll soon get to it.

In the latest budget that was read in Parliament, tourism was the third largest foreign exchange earner in this country and I keep reminding people that that is even in its raw state. Only a few tourist destinations have been developed in this country and mostly in the south centred around the slave trade hence the forts and castles mostly.

Even in this regard some of the infrastructure around the tourist sites are shambolic and nothing to write home about. The roads to this centres are bad and there are no good hospitality services and other support industries to make these places attractive. Let me not even try giving a list. We all know a few places. 

Recently I was in Salaga slave market, one of the most prominent trade centres during the TransAtlantic slave trade and there was almost nothing to show for it.  For a son of the soil steeped in the history of Africa I was almost ashamed. The only relic of the market is a replanted baobab tree that bears a broken down sign leaning on it that reads Salaga Slave Market. A few meters away is an old well another relic and that’s just about it.

As if by twist of humor, the recent street naming have names of some of the slave raiders as street names.
Babatu Street is the route to the old town which was the very same path the slaves were taken along enroute to the coast. Some irony!

Guess it was lost on those who named the street.

When you get there only one man knows the history of the place and they have to find him for you wherever he is only for him to come tell you what you already know about the slavery of the time and take you to an almost empty makeshift museum with just a handful of items: slavemaster muskets 2, both slave and master gourds for drinking, calabashes used for fetching water and food, Long chain for ankles, pointed metal bar supposedly used to carve feeding troughs in the rock, a bow and an empty arrow quaver.

That’s it!

There is another emerging trend with our tour sites that if not curbed could lead to losing the few curious people who brave the odds and ends  to see the tourist sites and this has to do with the local people especially the youth seeking to exploit the tourists.
In the areas where some of these tourist centres are located the youth find it prudent to in some ways extort money from visitors to the sites. From junior high school dropouts trying to sell customized shells and wrist bands at the coastal areas, little children asking for pencils and pens at lake Bosomtwe, to the young men on motorbikes who rush over to the car to welcome you even before you park at Larabanga or at Paga, there is a common denominator. This is that they see the visitors in their community as an opportunity to make a few coins.

Hitherto these people only harassed foreign visitors but now they don’t even care if the people on the visit are even local. The mentality I’m sure is that if you can afford to drive all the way from wherever you came from and brave the bad roads then you sure could spare some change.
Recently at Larabanga, me and some friends from Wa were welcomed heartily by two  youth who arrived on  motorbikes and offered to escort us to see the mosque but all the hearty welcome almost changed to hostility when they realized we weren’t interested to do the whole tour guide thing with the history of the mosque etc. We actually and literally had to bolt out of there when somebody made a comment that for a mere 2 cedis we were facing this aggressive behavior. 

This sort of aggression to make make money off or fleece the few tourists who visit these sights, albeit the bad roads and lack of proper infrastructure, will make people lose interest in tourism altogether in the country.

Tourism in Ghana is a joke and yet it keeps earning more money for the country. Imagine if we could harness the tourism potential in Ghana and not only develop the infrastructure but also make policy that promote tourism and do national marketing as we see other nations do in the international media such as CNN, NBC, etc. We have the resources and yet we just revel in mediocrity and Leave it very raw and not really tapped.

Maybe one day, maybe not but it depends on the individual to have to see the potential and develop a mindset for seeing Ghana develop as a nation in whatever way (s)he can help.

LONG LIVE GHANA!!

Like I always say, it begins with YOU!!!!

Accra Floods

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on June 3, 2015 by kola

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It’s the rainy season again and as usual Ghana is set on edge because of the various places that will constantly be on the news for flooding when there is a little rain.

Perennial rainstorms have been the undoing of some communities especially in the capital. People buy land indiscriminately without checking how waterlogged the areas the land they buy lie and this is partly because they want to own property in Accra. The high demand for land has led to indiscriminate selling of any small tract of land available within anywhere mapped as Accra.

It doesn’t matter where and it doesn’t matter what the land is designated for in the general lands plan.

Wonder how people get to buy these lands anyway especially land demarcated in water ways. But this is Ghana where magic happens with the right kinda cash.

Incidentally there are however some low lying areas in Accra that are bound to flood no matter what. City authorities have tried to ease (not solve it entirely)the flooding in these areas by taking measures such as building bigger drainage systems in such areas. But these are Never enough if the attitude and mentality of the people is not in tandem with the attempt to ease flooding when same people you’re trying to relieve block those drains and hinder the flow of tons of water as is expected to flow.

Suburbs in Accra that are prone to flooding every year are plenty notably parts of Alajo, Adabraka, Nkrumah circle (one year got flooded so high boats had to be used),Kaneshie, Abeka lapaz and several other areas.

Considering that over the years this problem still persists and the authorities know that it is a prevailing problem, what sort of country do we find ourselves in where the leaders would rather prioritize beautification when the floods come and create a mess. Then what did you spend money to beautify?

As for the mayor of Accra, I won’t say that he’s doing too badly because I will not want to be in his shoes especially when he’s been voted Africa’s Best Mayor and problems like this still persist in his jurisdiction under his watch.

People can criticize him all they want but for once I myself will commend him because knowing the issues I believe it could’ve been worse and he’s doing his best to see the city he loves so much get better.

That award is a feather in his crap (Oops! I meant cap)and with his colleague mayors from other cities in Africa coming for a summit at this time I hope he hides them well in plush hotels within clean environment outside the flood prone areas and the city slums. 

It’s another rainy season and for me it’s a personal responsibility to take care of oneself during this time.

Putting garbage in drains to choke them will only lead to worst social problems and it’s a pity those who wait for rains to dump excreta in the drains so it gets carried away for them. Just might end up in somebody’s flooded room.

Let’s be each others’ keepers at this time and the responsibility is ours.
Like I always say, it begins with YOU!!